Battle of the Inanimate
by LegitHaxor
Summary: 12 anthropomorphic objects battle for 10,000,000. Based off of BFDI(a) and other object shows.
1. Episode 1

_If you haven't watched an object show, this fanfic will make little sense. I recommend watching an object show before reading. (Battle for Dream Island, Inanimate Insanity, etc.)_

There were 12 contestants battling for $10,000,000. Their names were Diamond, Dirt, Piano, Coal, Smartphone, Basketball, Water Bottle, Stop Sign, TNT, Pillow, Quill, and Icicle. I am your host, Arcade Machine, and this is Battle of the Inanimate!

 **EPISODE 1, PRE-CONTEST:**

"This episode's contest is a round of dodgeball." Arcade Machine said.

"I love dodgeball!" Basketball excitingly said.

"Me too!" TNT exclaimed.

"Lets team up." Basketball said with a less exciting tone.

TNT and Basketball high-fived.

"Oh no!" Diamond said. "They are in the same team!" Diamond continued.

"Don't worry, I will team up with you!" Quill said.

"Me too." Pillow softly said.

"I want to team up with Quill too!" Piano said.

Diamond tried to shove him away, but she couldn't shove hard enough.

"I don't want you in the team." Diamond said, while still pushing Piano away.

"But Piano is my friend!" Quill said.

Quill then tried to push Piano towards Diamond's group.

"There can be only 2 contestants in each dodgeball team!" Arcade Machine said.

Quill and Piano decided to split away from Diamond's team.

Dirt wanted to team up with Coal, and they both agreed.

"Icicle, Stop Sign, Water Bottle, and Smartphone still have no team." Arcade Machine said.

"Do you want to team up?" Icicle said to Water Bottle.

"I guess." Water Bottle said.

"Since Stop Sign and Smartphone are the only two left, they are automatically teamed up!"

"OMG I finally have a team!" Smartphone exclaimed.

"Why did I stop deciding to make a team?" Stop Sign asked to himself.

"OK, now since you have teams, it is time for the contest." Arcade Machine said.

 **EPISODE 1: CONTEST**

Everyone walked to the dodgeball arena, which looked like a normal rectangular room with a hardwood floor.

"The rules are that you should not continue to play when you get hit by a ball. Pushing, kicking, punching, and slapping are all allowed. The last 2 contestants to be hit by a dodgeball get to choose the teams for the length of contest. Also, friendly fire is off." Arcade Machine announced.

"Yay, we get to shove people!" TNT yelled.

"Why can't friendly fire be on?" Stop Sign asked.

"Because, you chose the teams." Arcade Machine said.

"But you chose my team!" Stop Sign yelled.

"3, 2, 1, Start!" Arcade Machine said.

Everyone was given 1 dodgeball shortly afterwards.

TNT threw his dodgeball in Piano's direction, but Piano walked as fast as he could to the right.

The dodgeball hit him anyway, and a loud, low note played that made everyone cover their ears except for Quill.

"Quick, hit TNT with your dodgeball!" Piano wanted to say quietly but said loudly.

Quill threw his dodgeball at TNT, and it hit.

 _a few seconds later_

The loud note stopped, and everyone stopped covering their ears.

Diamond threw her dodgeball at Dirt, but it missed.

Coal threw his dodgeball at diamond, and it hit.

Pillow threw her dodgeball at coal, but it bounced off of the wall and hit her back.

"Oh come on." Pillow said in a normal voice.

Icicle threw his dodgeball at basketball, but he dodged.

"You have to be better than that." Basketball said, then throwing his dodgeball at Icicle.

The dodgeball hit Icicle, and then he shattered.

"Three Pointer!" Basketball yelled.

Water Bottle threw his dodgeball at basketball, and it hit.

Stop Sign threw his dodgeball at dirt, and it hit.

Coal then picked up the dodgeball that missed Dirt and threw it at Stop Sign, and it hit.

Smartphone threw her dodgeball at Coal.

It hit Coal, shattering him.

Smartphone picked up the dodgeball that hit Stop Sign.

Quill did the same, except with the one that hit Piano.

Smartphone threw her dodgeball at Quill.

It closely missed Quill, but he glided close to Smartphone and threw his dodgeball at her.

"Quill and Water Bottle, you get to choose your teams!" Arcade Machine said.


	2. Episode 2 Part 1

"OK, now choose your teams."

"I choose Piano." Quill said.

"Yay!" Piano said.

"I choose Icicle." Water Bottle said.

"You are cool." Icicle calmly said.

"I choose Basketball." Quill said.

"Oh great, I am in the team with Piano." Basketball said.

"What was that?" Piano asked.

"I said, it is great, I am in the team with Piano." Basketball said.

"Oh, OK." Piano said.

"I choose Diamond." Water Bottle said.

"I want to be in the team with Smartphone!" Diamond exclaimed.

"I choose Stop Sign." Quill said.

"At least I am not teamed with Smartphone." Stop Sign said.

"I choose Pillow." Water Bottle said.

"Yay, I finally have a team." Pillow said.

"I don't know who to choose, they are all bad." Quill said.

"You must choose one." Arcade Machine said.

Smartphone is too sassy, Coal is friends with Dirt, Dirt is messy, and TNT is mean." Quill said. "But Coal is the least bad out of them." Quill continued.

"1, 2, 3. I choose you TNT." Water Bottle said.

"I choose... Smartphone?" Quill said.

"OMG, this is like, so exciting!" Smartphone said.

"Why?" Stop Sign yelled.

"Dirt goes to Water Bottle's team, then." Arcade Machine said.

Everyone except Dirt and Arcade Machine gasped.

 **Episode 2: Elimination**

"OK, here are your scores: 100 for Quill and Water Bottle, 95 for Smartphone, 85 for Coal, 75 for Stop Sign, 65 for Dirt, 50 for Basketball, 35 for Icicle, 25 for Pillow, 15 for Diamond, 10 for TNT, and 5 for Piano." Arcade Machine said. "The average of these scores and the requirement to not be up for elimination is currently 55. Teams will not count in this elimination." Arcade Machine continued.

"How will this elimination work?" Stop Sign asked.

"The contestants get to vote out other contestants. You will all be teleported in a small room with a mic, away from the other contestants. The votes from the team captains go first." Arcade Machine said.

"I vote out TNT." Quill said.

"I vote out Basketball." Water Bottle said.

"I vote out Icicle." Smartphone said.

"I vote out Diamond." Coal said.

"I vote out Diamond." Stop Sign said.

"I vote out Diamond." Dirt said.

"I vote out Icicle." Basketball said.

"I vote out TNT." Icicle said.

"I vote out TNT." Pillow said.

"I vote out TNT." Diamond said.

"I vote out Basketball." TNT said.

"I vote out TNT." Piano said.

Arcade Machine teleports everyone back to the elimination stage.

"Icicle and Basketball have 2 votes." Arcade Machine said.

"Diamond has 3 votes." Arcade Machine said.

"And TNT has 5 votes, each of them from Icicle, Pillow, Diamond, Piano, and Quill." Arcade Machine said.

"Why did I get 5 votes?" TNT said.

TNT then slapped Quill and Piano, and was teleported to the Hall of Shame shortly after.

"Now since he is gone, we can start our first real contest." Arcade Machine said.

"Our challenge is baking a food item!" Arcade Machine announced.

"Now what will your team names be?" Arcade Machine asked.

"Our team name will be the Feathery Flyers!" Quill announced.

"Our team name will be the Clear Crystals!" Water Bottle announced.

 **EPISODE 2: CONTEST**

"The rules of the contest are: There is a pile of ingredients over there. The contestant with the highest rating wins." Arcade Machine said.


	3. Episode 2 Part 2

"There is a blender, microwave, oven, knife, and a cutting board. Now go!" Arcade Machine said.

Diamond went in the pile and found a potato and some butter. Diamond then started to make a baked potato.

Dirt went in the pile and found some cookie dough and frosting. Dirt then tried to make a cake.

Piano went in the pile and found 6 microwave chicken nuggets. Piano then microwaved them for 1 minute.

Coal went in the pile and found some butter and a fish. Coal then cut the bones out of the fish and cooked it with the butter.

Smartphone went in the pile and found some Grotatoes. Smartphone then decided not to cook them.

Basketball went in the pile and found a slice of bacon. He then cooked it.

Water Bottle went in the pile and found a carrot and some cake mix. He then baked a cake, and put the carrot in it.

Stop Sign went in the pile and found some dough, some tomatoes, and some cheese. Stop Sign then cooked a cheese pizza.

Pillow went in the pile and found an egg. He then made a scrambled egg in the microwave.

Quill went in the pile and found a hamburger patty, a bun, and some sauce. Quill then cooked the patty on the stove, put it in the bun, then put some sauce on it.

Icicle went in the pile and found some liquid nitrogen, some cream, and some milk. He then made ice cream with it.

 **EPISODE 2: JUDGING**

"OK, times up!" Arcade Machine announced. "Diamond goes first."

Diamond then gave Arcade Machine her baked potato.

"6 out of 10" Arcade Machine said.

"No! I want a 10!" Diamond said.

"Well, you can't get one." Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Dirt." Arcade Machine said.

"Here is my cake." Dirt said, giving it to Arcade Machine.

"7 out of 10, it is a bit crunchy." Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Piano." Arcade machine said.

Piano gave him some chicken nuggets.

"6 out of 10" Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Coal." Arcade Machine said.

Coal then gave the host his fish.

"8 out of 10" Arcade Machine said.

"Good." Coal said.

"Next up is Smartphone." Arcade Machine said.

Smartphone then gave the host some Grotatoes.

"2 out of 10, these aren't edible." Arcade Machine said.

Smartphone facepalmed.

"Next up is Basketball." Arcade Machine said.

Basketball gave the host his slice of bacon.

"8.5 out of 10." Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Water Bottle." Arcade Machine said.

Water Bottle gave the host his cake.

"9 out of 10, why is there a carrot in there?" Arcade Machine asked.

"Next up is Stop Sign." Arcade Machine said.

Stop Sign gave the host his pizza.

"7 out of 10." Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Pillow." Arcade Machine said.

Pillow then gave her scrambled egg to the host.

"6 out of 10" Arcade Machine said.

"Next up is Quill." Arcade Machine said.

Quill gave the host his hamburger.

"9.5 out of 10, that was actually good!" Arcade Machine said.

"Last but not but not least, Icicle!" Arcade Machine said.

Icicle gave the host his ice cream.

"9 out of 10" Arcade Machine said.


	4. Episode 3

**Episode 3: Elimination**

"Ok, here are the points. Teams will count in this elimination. Diamond has 65, Dirt has 135, Piano has 65, Coal has 165, Smartphone has 115, Basketball has 135, Water Bottle has 190, Stop Sign has 145, Pillow has 85, Quill has 195, and Icicle has 125." Arcade Machine said.

"And since Cool Crystals won, Feathery Flyers is up for elimination. Icicle and Basketball have 2 votes, and Smartphone has 3 votes." Arcade Machine said.

"I vote for Smartphone." Water Bottle said.

"I vote for Smartphone." Coal said.

"I vote for Basketball." Dirt said.

"I vote for Piano" Icicle said.

"I vote for Stop Sign." Pillow said.

"I vote for Basketball." Diamond said.

"Results are in, Smartphone and Basketball are in a tibreaker with 2 votes." Arcade Machine said.

"The tiebreaker will be a long jump." Arcade Machine said.

Smartphone jumped to 3.

Basketball jumped to 8.

"Smartphone is eliminated." Arcade Machine said.

Smartphone was then teleported to the Hall of Shame.

"The contest is a long jump." Arcade Machine teleported the contestants.

 **Episode 3: Contest**

Diamond jumped to 6.

Dirt jumped to 3.

Piano jumped to 1.

Coal jumped to 3.

Basketball jumped to 7.

Water Bottle jumped to 4.

Stop Sign jumped to 3.

Pillow jumped to 5.

Quill jumped to 6.

Icicle jumped to 5.

"The score you get on the long jump times 20 are your points for this round." Arcade Machine said.

"Diamond gets 120 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Dirt gets 60 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Piano gets 20 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Coal gets 60 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Basketball gets 140 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Water Bottle gets 80 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Stop Sign gets 60 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Pillow gets 100 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Quill gets 120 points." Arcade Machine said.

"Icicle gets 100 points." Arcade Machine said.

"When the point counter gets 4000 total, it will be removed. Arcade Machine said.

"Also, I will give Feathery Fliers 10 points each and take away 10 points for each member of the Clear Crystals." Arcade Machine said.


End file.
